im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
