he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
