1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
