I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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