If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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