I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
