i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
