He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He passed out mid-signature
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How does it feel to date your dad?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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