Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
