p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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