problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
