I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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