she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
