She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
