Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
