Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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