break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
id be glad to
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
