five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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