Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
