Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
