Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
