You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I need a beard to bite.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
