I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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