we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
