We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
