I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
