Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize