Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
