Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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