Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
