we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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