Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
