can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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