this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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