he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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