Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
