turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
