dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
