just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
