Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When did angry sex become our thing?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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