Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
