I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
