If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He has the fingertips of a God
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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