Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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