Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
