I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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