wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's never too late to be topless.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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