I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
