You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
