I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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