if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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