you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
