Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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