I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
