oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When are your genitals available?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
