Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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