how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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