who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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