i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize