She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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