It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
