do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
