quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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