please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
