i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize