How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
