Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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