I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
