I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am one with the molecules
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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