Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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