I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
