I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
